Tulips are better than one

Saturday was the perfect day for a concert in the park.  The crowd was a record breaker. Early reports are saying over 60,000 Upstaters had converged on the 2008 Tulip Festival in Washington Park for fair food, crafts and live entertainment just on Saturday.  In prior years it's been hot, muggy and impossible to escape the sun.  This year was certainly an exception.  Temperatures in the 60's and overcast skies ended up being the perfect combination for a comfortable afternoon.

Still better than stem fest (that's just harsh)

Mr. Val and I parked on our usual, out-of-the-way side street.  We didn't arrive early enough to eat anything deep-fried pre-concert so we wandered around to find a good place to watch the show.  We wended our way around, through and over the mob of people and found ourselves standing right next to the stage.  Center stage along the gates was already packed, so we were happy to stand at the side.  We didn't have a great view of the front of the stage, but we got to watch Mark (bass) and Aaron (drums) really clearly which was just fine with us!

Ebola City

Too many people got up to read thank you's before they brought out the Spin Doctors.  A dude from Toyota bragged about planting trees and a nearby woman screamed "trees are good!!".  (I think I've just found a new blog title.)  The sad thing about a show like this is that the idiot who introduces them has no idea who they are, he's just a guy who probably donated a bunch of money to the festival.  He stupidly announces how they're working on a *new* album called Nice Talking to Me.  Silly rich man, that record is three years old.  We could see the docs hanging out back stage laughing about this.  Chris (singer) later announces that one of the songs he's about to sing is off their new record that they just released that morning.  Not sure how many in the crowd caught on, but being the snob that I am, I thought it was funny.  :-)

Mark and Aaron

The good Doctors were finally brought out on stage at 4:30 so what the hell other song would they open with but What Time is It?  I had pen and paper but was having too much fun to write down all the song titles.  Later, Mr. Val and I tried to recreate a set list (that man has a killer memory), but we never could agree on the order.  They mostly did stuff off of Pocketful of Kryptonite and Nice Talking to Me.  I've been listening to Nice Talking to Me a lot lately so was really happy to hear my favorites from that: Sugar (best song on the album), Genuine (Eric's awesome rocker), Can't Kick the Habit (the one I can't get enough of) and Margarita (so damn catchy).  Of course they did their big hits, Jimmy Olsen's Blues, Little Miss Can't Be Wrong and Two Princes.  They also did Big Fat Funky Booty, How Could You Want Him and Off My Line.  The encore started off with Refrigerator Car and ended with Yo Mama's a Pajama (probably in honor of Mother's Day! Haha!).  Some

Eric's Solo

The band was so *on*.  They played together with a level of comfort that can only come with maturity.  They were incredibly tight and in tune with each other in every sense of the word.  It was an electrifying show and just plain fun.  Aaron (drums), Mark (bass) and Eric (guitar) were phenomenal, they're really amazing musicians.  Chris (vocals) was the master who linked the audience and the band.  His pipes sounded terrific and he seemed to love playing with the crowd.

Chris works the crowd

I really hope they are working on a new album, it would be great fun to see them on the road again, supporting new music.  They are really great on the stage, I'm so happy I finally had the opportunity to experience it firsthand.

Following the tunes we decided to enjoy fair food.  Sadly, many vendors were already shutting down for the day(!) so our choices were becoming limited by the minute.  We trudged through the crowd looking for something that wouldn't cause buttpee and after some arguing with Captain Indecision we opted to hit up our favorite pizza place on the way to the car.  (JG's on Lark, best pizza in Albany, don't miss it!)

After tons of walking and dancing this girl was a tired bear and went to bed very early on a Saturday night.  But lucky for you folks you get the 5 AM review!  :-)  Happy Sunday people.

You can see more of my pics by clicking here, but here are a few of my favorites:

This guy was having so much fun

Extreme Pickle Closeup

Meat on a Stick..

Moar Meat on a Stick

Lucky! sweet ride, kiddo!

Lark at JG's

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Last night was Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!, the NPR News Quiz live from the Chase Auditorium Proctor's Theater in beautiful downtown Schenectady, New York!

First, the dinner review:

My guests were my married friends, B and A.  We stopped into Bangkok Bistro for a bit of dinner before heading to the show. Bangkok was hopping.  It's a small location that obviously used to be something else back in the day.  There were painted tin ceilings and beautiful scenes of Germany on the wall (I can't remember if it was a mural or paper, but it was old).  The overly loud music was a constant stream of female country singers (this is an incredibly weird thing for Upstate NY).  To say the place lacked a Thai influence in the ambiance and decor would be the understatement of the year.  It was an interesting blend of historical Schenectady, the Old World and maybe that $3 Chinese Lantern gave it a bit of Asian flavor.  It took over ten minutes for our waiter to come by and another twenty before he brought us water.  Our food took another half hour after that.  Our waiter barely looked at us.  Luckily the theater is a block away because we weren't finished until fifteen minutes before show time.  The food was ok, but nothing to write home about.  I mentioned that the place was hopping, and it was, but there couldn't have been more than 15 tables in the place and there were plenty of waiters. The prices were outrageous for the portions.  Most of the Thai in this area is a bit more expensive, but my favorite restaurant, Capital Thai in Albany, charges much less for a lot more food. On a scale of 10 I'd give the food a 4 and the service a 2.

Let's go on with the show:

We made our way over to Proctor's, it was my first show there.  The theater was jam packed with NPR junkies and everyone seemed to be in good spirits despite the fact that we felt like a herd of cattle as we made our way to our seats.  Apparently the theater has recently undergone extensive renovations and it showed.  The theater was spectacular!!  Dozens of chandeliers, intricate designs in the ceiling and beautiful walls and seating were looking new and and really gave you the feeling of stepping back in time.

Proctors-stage

The stage was simple (but opposite what I had imagined), two podiums on stage-right, one with the name Carl Kasell (squee!), and the other, Peter Sagal.  Stage-right held two tables, the one in front had three seats for our panelists and another in back held five or so of the people listed at the end of the show who make the magic happen (Doug Berman, Emily Ecton, etc.). 

After a brief introduction by local NPR super star, Alan Chartock (who reminded us that the fund drive begins in June and that we should call 1-800-323-9262 to become a member of WAMC!)* the lights finally went down.  A rotating ball with spinning, colorful lights swept across the stage and theater as Sirius (by the Alan Parson's Project...you know, the song from the beginning of the Bull's games!) played overhead, sending the audience into fits of laughter.  Our panelists, Mo Rocca, Amy Dickenson and Charlie Pierce were greeted by the enthusiastic crowd.  When Carl was called out on stage, everyone went nuts (at least I did!)!  Peter Sagal was next and I was struck by his lack of hair.  Don't get me wrong, ain't nuthin' wrong with a bald man, in fact it can be quite sexy, but in my mind Peter had these wavy, thick locks of golden hair.  The rest of him was just as handsome as I'd imagined.

Carl and Peter

Peter gave us the rundown of how it all works.  The main difference between what you hear on the radio and what I saw last night was that on the radio you don't hear the flubs or the dirty answers that are sadly edited for broadcast.  Peter also informed us that when they go on the road they like to have a local celebrity join them on stage.  Of course this was hot discussion over dinner.  Who's going to play Not My Job?  B had suggested Eliot Spitzer, I told him NO WAY after the way Wait Wait had roasted him in the last month.  A suggested that it might be our new governor, funny man, David Paterson.  That, I would've loved!  So when Peter prefaced telling us about our guest, he said that this was no joke...I leaned over to B and said, you MUST be right!  Peter did confirm that several months ago the show was approached by Mr. Spitzer's staff who informed them that the governor was a fan of Wait Wait and would love to do the Not My Job segment.  Whoops!!  Instead, we were visited via phone by Adam Savage of Mythbusters.  B and A were thrilled, being huge fans of Mythbusters.  I've never seen it (no cable), but Adam was clever, charming and armed the panel with many jokes that would continue throughout the evening (although we'll see if the ones about elephant dung will make it to air!).  Adam also informed us that we were the largest audience he'd ever addressed while not wearing pants.

Wwdtm_lineup_final

The panelists were delightful.  It was so cool getting to hear Charlie Pierce laugh in person.  Amy, Mo and Charlie played off of each other throughout the evening and truly looked like they were having a ball.  Much of the comedy was visual: Amy stroking an imaginary beard, Mo discouraging the audience from hinting at answers, all three of them crossing their arms at poignant moments (something you'll understand when you hear this week's show).  It was great to see them really having fun with the live audience.

The show was followed by a short bit of housekeeping (this is where the magic comes in!).  Peter, Carl and the panel were each instructed what lines they had to redo (either for sound purposes, flubs or cleanliness).  After about five minutes of that Peter and Carl wandered into the audience for a bit of Q & A.

Peter and carl

Carl informed us that in the old days, when it came time to record the message for an answering machine he would get on the NPR jet and fly to the winner's house and crash for a week.  ;-)  Another person, who today I'm sure is thinking to herself, oh my gosh, I can't believe I asked that, asked Carl why she knew his voice.  She said she obviously knew him from the show, but had heard his voice elsewhere but couldn't place it.  After a stunned silence from Peter and the crowd everyone roared with laughter.  Peter told Carl to go ahead and tell her about his day job.  "From NPR News in Washington, I'm Carl Kasell" gave rise to massive applause from the audience.

It was great fun.  I'd love to see another taping (although Peter did remind us that we were nuts for paying for tickets when we could've listened in our pajamas for free on Saturday morning).  These folks seem to love what they do and it was very cool to be a part of that NPR magic.

*The fund drive is crazy out here.  Alan spends a ton of time on the air trying to generate donations.  He once sang the phone number to Camptown Races so that's how I hear it in my head.  But I've heard him read the number in a hoarse voice so many times over the years I think I'd remember it even with Alzheimer's.

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Tideland: Jeremy Thomas Presents A Film By Terry Gilliam

Finally saw Tideland this weekend.  As Gilliam warns before the movie, it isn't for everyone.  I thought it was a brilliant, if disturbing, experience.  Very few directors or actors could have pulled off this story.  Keep an eye out for Jodelle Ferland who was brilliant and will hopefully have an amazing career.

I can see how this movie would work as almost a horror movie on some level for most adults who would fear for the life of Jeliza-Rose.  I didn't see it this way.  I never really felt she was in any real danger because in spite of her age, she has the personality of a caretaker.  People like that can go through hell, even as children, and still remain relatively "normal" (note that I hate that word).

As for the blossoming "romance" I saw no problem with it considering that you're supposed to be seeing the world through this girl's eyes and the male character has the mental capacity of a child.  If I strip away everything I know as an adult, and remember what it was like to be her age, I can certainly understand why she is drawn to the captain and sees him as her prince.  In fact, I seriously felt like Jeliza-Rose tried to manipulate him and the situation to further the relationship.

Tideland

There were a few moments in the movie that I felt were funny in a very dark and sad way.  For those of you who have seen it, I'll just say "foot in the head".  Tragic and yet hysterical.  The characters were all fantastic, the junkie parents (Jeff Bridges and Jennifer Tilly) of Jeliza-Rose to Dell and Dickens who seemed to have been plucked right out of a child's fantasies.

I was so blown away by the whole picture that I just burst into tears at the end. At first I felt like there was a story missing, but after a couple of hours of reflection it felt as if it was supposed to be more of an experience than a story.

If you love Gilliam and can keep an open mind about the world in general you should consider checking out Tideland.

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Weird Al and his band entertained and delighted a nearly packed house at the Palace Theater in Albany last Friday night.  The format of Al’s show hasn’t changed much over the years; it still includes clips from Al-TV, many swaps of the wardrobe and sing-a-longs for the whole audience.  But that’s just how Al’s fans like it!

The Palace Theater

I haven’t been to the Palace Theater since my last Weird Al concert.  The past few years have been tight and we couldn’t afford the expense of live entertainment so it was a major treat to revisit the Palace.  The Palace Theater opened its doors in 1931 and you really feel like you’re stepping into the past the moment you enter the lobby.  Since my last visit, the theater has gone through major renovations.  Although some hallway areas still show the theater’s age, the seating, stage area, walls and ceiling have all been restored and updated.  While the seats are very comfortable, the lack of leg room is still a distraction for this 5’7" patron.  But overall the Palace is magnificent and I hope to start seeing more shows there again.

View

We were seated five rows from the very top of the rear balcony but despite this the seats were pretty good (they wouldn’t have been so good if the two seats in front of us were occupied, however).  Behind us was a gaggle of pre-teens who seemed to be seated separately from their guardian or were there on their own.  During the half-hour delay before the show Husband and I spent most of the time listening to their conversations while giggling quietly and exchanging glances.  I think I blocked out of my head what it was like to be 13.  Their conversation ranged from MySpace to the Virginia Tech massacre to junior high drama to rape.  All of these topics were treated with the same level of nonchalance that only the young and blissfully unaware can achieve.

Palace-inside

The crowd was filled with a wide range of people from the young kids who just discovered Al because of White and Nerdy to the ones who heard Al for the first time performing My Bologna on Dr. Demento back in 1979.  The excitable assembly kept itself busy during the delay by clapping, chanting and just having a good time.  This was definitely a geeky crowd ready to live it up.

We knew it was time to party it up when the opening notes of Fun Zone finally blared through the stage speakers and Al and his band took the stage.  They opened with Polkarama! from the most recent album.  The projection screen played sped up videos of the songs covered much to the audience’s amusement.  From there they went into a lively rendition of Canadian Idiot followed by a thrilling 5 note drum solo from "Bermuda" Schwartz.  Close But No Cigar and Why Does This Always Happen to Me rounded out their first segment before some Al-TV and a set change.

Al tv

Al returned to the stage in a blinding silver jumpsuit for All About the Pentiums.  I don’t know if it was the sound or the nature of the song but it was impossible to understand the majority of the lyrics.  For most concerts this isn’t a huge deal, but for Weird Al, crisp vocals are a must.  Luckily this wasn’t a problem for the majority of the night. After more Al-TV the band performed the unreleased song, You’re Pitiful (a parody of James Blunt’s crappy counterpart).  Al slowly shed his four layers of clothing during this performance to finally reveal a SpongeBob t-shirt and pink ballet skirt (the younger members of the audience went wild when the SpongeBob shirt was unveiled).

Al ventured into the audience for Wanna B Ur Lovr so there wasn’t much to see from the balcony (we were so high we couldn’t see the orchestra seating).

Not my photo

After one of my favorite segments of Al-TV featuring Eminem the band launched into a huge medley that included segments of Couch Potato, Do I Creep You Out, I’m In Love with the Skipper (to which the insecure kid behind me said “gross”), Headline News (a new verse about Britney Spears shaving her head), Confessions Part III, A Complicated Song, eBay, Bedrock Anthem, Ode to a Superhero, Pretty Fly for a Rabbi, Trapped in the Drive-Thru, Gump and Eat It.

Following what had to be a 30 minute act we were treated to more Al-TV and then the band came out dressed as Rage Against the Machine for a kick-ass rendition of I’ll Sue Ya.  My heart fluttered looking at guitarist Jim West; he had the look of Tom Morello down perfectly.  I almost felt like I was really at a Rage concert for all of about 2 minutes.  It’s really a testament to how good the band is at replicating the work of others.

Also not my photo

A bit of Al-TV with Paul McCartney was followed by the funniest and most ironic comment of the evening.  It was uttered by one of the little ones behind us at the opening notes of The Saga Begins (a parody of Don McClean’s American Pie).

“Who did the original of this song?”

“It was by the Beatles.”

I didn’t have the heart to tell them that the song was written two years after The Beatles broke up.  They probably didn’t even recognize Paul McCartney from the clip aired minutes prior, which just made it all the funnier.

The Saga Begins was appropriately followed by Yoda (and no, the kiddies around me didn’t know the lyrics to sing along).  The Yoda chant done by the band in the middle of the song garnered a “wtf” comment from the “gross” kid behind me. 

More Al-TV was followed by a very loud and rockin’ Smells Like Nirvana.  After changing out of their flannels and into some conservative Amish gear Al rapped out some Amish Paradise.  After a tiny bit more Al-TV, Al rode out on his Segway to perform the most anticipated song of the night, White and Nerdy.  Those white boys can rap and they did a great job of it live.  I saw the band’s first performance of this song live on Jay Leno several months ago.  I remember reading how Al was really nervous because it was so different than anything he had ever done before.  Since that first, sort of dry performance on Leno the band has gained a lot of confidence and knocked this one out of the park.  Much to my delight, the big screens featured a lot of kooky dancing from Donny Osmond that wasn’t featured in the original video.

Again not my photo

Al came out in his fat suit to perform one of his most notable songs, Fat.  This is probably a show staple and it is an enjoyable one, but that suit has got to be awfully ripe after all these years.

For the encore, Al returned with Cellphones, a joke made in an Al-TV interview with Michael Stipe that was aired a few minutes before the end of the concert.  It was followed by a song I never thought I’d hear live, the nearly 12 minute, brilliant Albuquerque.  It’s a brave choice for the last song as it was sure to lose a few audience members. With so many words it’s difficult to follow the entire narration, especially live.  But the majority of fans stuck around to the final note and seemed to be having a great time.

I can’t wait for Weird Al to come around again.  Next time I won’t wait until a week before the show to order tickets so I can enjoy closer seats!

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Straight Outta Lynwood

Weird Al Yankovic

Weird Al’s Straight Outta Lynwood, released in 2006, quickly became his best-charting album to date.  In typical Al fashion, the parodies are primarily of current popular music, which means that I am not terribly familiar with the original versions of all the songs or bands.  I do not listen to commercial radio therefore I am not one of the “cool” kids you hear about these days. 

Weird Al’s phenomenal band (plus many additional musicians) was on hand for this recording.  The band consists of Jim West on guitars, John “Bermuda” Schwartz on drums, Steve Jay on bass and Ruben Valtierra on keys.

Most of Weird Al’s catalog of songs falls into one of three categories: song parody, style parody and polka!  No, I am not terribly excited about that last category; however, I feel the word “polka!” deserves an exclamation point.  Polka!  See?  Al’s songs are also very well known for their food references and that holds true for this record.

White & Nerdy

The album opens with the incredibly well-crafted White and Nerdy, a parody of Chamillionaire’s Ridin’.  With lines like:

The only question I ever thought was hard was do I like Kirk or do I like Picard

it’s not hard to see why this song is so popular.  I really feel like Al connects to my inner outer nerd.

Culinary Connection: “Keep you're 40, I'll just have an Earl Grey tea”

Brian Wilson’s unmistakable style is imitated in Pancreas.  This has got to be the most layered song Al has ever tackled.  Bermuda alone plays 12 instruments and Al has countless vocal harmony tracks.  It’s overdone and over the top, but so is Brian Wilson.  Well done!

Culinary Connection: The song is about an organ that aids in digestion. /obvious

Canadian Idiot is a send up of Green Day’s American Idiot.  The song is a very amusing poke at our friendly neighbors to the North (really it's more of a poke at stupid Americans).  Favorite line:

“They think their silly accent is cute/Can’t understand a thing they’re talking aboot.”

Culinary Connection: “They all live on donuts and moose meat”

"Weird Al" Yankovic: I'll Sue Ya

Al parodies the Rage Against the Machine style in I’ll Sue Ya.  Great care is taken in precisely covering the very distinct sounds of Wilk, Commerford, Morello and de la Rocha.  Being a style parody, this song pulls elements from assorted songs in the band’s catalog.  As a big fan of RATM, this is one of my favorite tracks on the album.

Culinary Connection: “I sued Taco Bell/'Cause I ate half a million Chalupas/And I got fat!”

Polkarama! contains a slew of songs I’ve never heard of plus a few others that are on my radar.  This is a typical problem for me with the polkas! Like I said before, I’m not one of the cool kids.  It’s a pretty good medley overall and if there is one thing Al excels at (besides the accordion), it’s his mastery of the English language.  The snippets of songs weaved into his polkas! always contain amusing lyrics despite the intentions of the original authors.

Culinary Connection: “I'll let you lick the lollypop”

Weird Al - Virus Alert

I had to look up the style parody reference for Virus Alert, apparently he is lampooning a band called Sparks.  Although I was not terribly into the song at first, it does have an interesting quality and has stuck with me for a few days.  The lyrics, as always, are top notch.

Culinary Connection: “And leave a bunch of Twinkie wrappers all over the place”

Confessions Part III mocks Usher’s Confessions and Confessions Part II.  This song starts with Usher’s original confession of the pregnant mistress but continues by confessing all the white (and not so white) lies he told to his SO over the years.

Culinary Connection: “Gave you buttered toast I dropped and picked up off the floor”

Weird Al Yankovic - Weasel Stomping Day

Weasel Stomping Day was released for this and the Robot Chicken album.  It’s just plain weird, but also very funny and disturbing.  According to Wiki, Al has claimed that Weasel Stomping day is June 31^st.

Culinary Connection: Unless you are a fan of weasel-on-a-stick there really isn’t a food reference in this song.  Oh the horror!!

Weird Al - Close But No Cigar

Close But No Cigar is Al’s take on one of my favorite bands, Cake.  From John McCrea’s signature “aw yeah’s” to DiFiore’s classic trumpet, Al and the gang nail this style parody.  The lyrics tackle that never-ending quest of a perfectionist looking for love.

Culinary Connection: “She had lips like a ripe pomegranate”

Do I Creep You Out is a parody of Taylor Hicks’ Do I Make You Proud.  Musically, this song stinks, but I can’t blame Al for a cruddy synthesized pop song. But I can blame American Idol.  Suck it!

Culinary Connection: “I saved that gum that you threw in the garbage”

Weird Al Yankovic - Trapped In The Drive-Thru

Every once in a while Al takes on an epic song and creates a masterpiece.  He did it with The Saga Begins and has done it again with Trapped in the Drive-Thru.  I had no prior knowledge of the R. Kelly original, Trapped in the Closet so when I Wiki’ed it I was surprised that the title didn’t imply what I thought it would. Despite the ridiculous nature of the original tune, Al twists it into a brilliant take on a night in the life of a marriage.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Al Yankovic has now experienced the tedium of marriage.  The 10+ minute epic tells the story of a couple hitting up a drive-thru for dinner.  Yes, that’s it.  But it’s brilliant I tells ya.  And lucky for this Zeppelin fan, there’s a quick breakdown in the middle of Black Dog by Al’s band.

Culinary Connection: They’re in a drive-thru, figure it out.

Don’t Download this Song is done in the style of We Are the World but isn’t a direct parody.  It’s a great genre to knock considering the topic is essentially welfare for the wealthy.  It’s a pretty amusing song with maximum cheese.  Favorite line:

Even Lars Ulrich knows it’s wrong.

Culinary Connection: See, here’s the thing, Al doesn’t always mention food.  He does mention robbing liquor stores.  Eh eh?  Um, he talks about Limewire? ... I got nothin’.

Weird Al

The disc is double-sided and the B-side is a DVD with a stereo mix, a 5.1 mix and a karaoke option.  A 9 minute behind-the-scenes in the studio is a terrific addition. Also included are videos for several songs (sadly, not White and Nerdy).   The best of these has to be John Kricfalusi’s (Ren & Stimpy) animated Close But No Cigar video.  A little note about the video for I’ll Sue Ya: There is an animated version of the band (even though they don’t look like Al’s band or Rage) but there isn’t a bass player!  Considering the power of the bass in Rage’s music, Husband and I both thought this was a major problem. 

Straight Outta Lynwood is one of Al’s best albums in years; I don’t know why I didn’t buy it sooner.

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Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (Dimension Collector's Series)

In 2001 fans of Kevin Smith were treated to the biggest in-joke movie of all time, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.  Yes our favorite drug-dealing duo finally got their very own movie.

Leave 'em out here like that and see what happens.

The movie opens outside of the Quick Stop where Baby Silent Bob and Baby Jay are left by their moms in front of the store.  Silent Bob’s mommy is picking up the free cheese and Baby Jay’s mom is trying to score.  Everything finally makes sense.  Flash-forward to current day and we find Jay and Bob doing what they do best, dealing in front of the Quick Stop.  After Dante and Randal get a restraining order against Jay and Bob our dynamic duo goes bitching to friend Brodie (Jason Lee’s character in Mallrats) who now runs his own comics shop.  Brodie asks them about movie money they should be receiving for the Bluntman and Chronic movie (remember in Chasing Amy, Bluntman and Chronic was the comic written by Holden and Banky who had to pay likeness rights to Jay and Bob).  Jay and Bob make a bee-line for the apartment of Holden McNeil (Ben Affleck’s character in Chasing Amy).  Holden informs the boys that he sold his rights years ago and is kicking himself because of the Internet buzz surrounding the movie.

Fuck Jay and Silent Bob.  Fuck them up their stupid asses.

What the fuck is the Internet?

Holden introduces the technically-challenged Jay and Bob to the Internet where Jay learns, much to his dismay, that flamers are trashing the movie, and the “characters” of Jay and Silent Bob on a website called Movie Poop Shoot (basically it’s Ain’t it Cool News).  Now, instead of trying to cash in on the movie, Jay and Bob decide to try and clear their good names by getting to Hollywood and stopping the movie from being made altogether.

Ladies, ladies, ladies, Jay and Silent Bob are in the Hizzouse.

So the great journey begins.  Along the way they learn from George Carlin that the only way to hitch a ride is to give some head. That’s a rule they unsuccessfully try to apply to Carrie Fisher, who plays a nun.  They have a smoky run-in with Scooby-Doo and Mystery Inc. And then they meet Justice (Shannon Elizabeth) and her gang of friends who claim to be on their way to protest a company that tests on animals.

Oh What a Lovely Tea Party

Whole fucking world's against us dude, swear to God

Due to a bit of deception on the part of Justice and her girlfriends, Jay, Bob and Suzanne the orangutan end up on the run from Federal Wildlife Marshal Willenholly (played by Will “fuck beans” Farrell).  Even with Willenholly hot on their trail, Jay and Bob do make it to Hollywood, but will they make it in time to stop the movie?  Will they get their royalty check? Will they kick some flamers’ asses?  Will they battle Mark Hamill in an epic bong-lightsaber duel?  Does Bob want to suck Jay’s dick?  These questions and more will be answered on next week’s episode of Soap.

Affleck, you the bomb in Phantoms, yo!

Good Will Hunting 2-Hunting Season

This movie delivers on the subtle and not-so-subtle references to Smith’s other work. It’s definitely done in a cheap, yet satisfying way, sort of like using a random household object as a makeshift dildo.  For me, it was tremendous fun and one of my favorite movies.  Kevin is a master of self-mockery and this was the perfect movie to showcase that kind of talent.  The dialog is once again hilarious and contains lots of good material for endless quoting around the house.

Make it fast...and sexy!

Oh my God. I'm paralyzed! That monkey shot me in the ass and paralyzed me! Oh sweet irony!

Man... I don't know what the FUCK you just said, Little Kid, but you're special man, you reached out, and you touch a brother's heart.

No sir, a 10-82 is disappearing a dead hooker from Ben Affleck's trailer.

I don't like the sound of them apples, Will. What are we gonna do?

There are an assload of cameos and guest appearances including Ben Affleck as Holden McNeil and Ben Affleck, Matt Damon as Matt Damon, the aforementioned Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill and George Carlin, Dawson, the pie fucker, Diedrich Bader, Gus Van Sant, Chris Rock, Jamie Kennedy, Judd Nelson (harsh), Jon Stewart, Tracy Morgan, Wes Craven, Shannen Doherty and lots more.

The DVD extras are very entertaining.  The two-disc set contains 42 deleted scenes with intros by various cast members, a hilarious gag reel with intro, The Genius of Will Ferrell, trailers, stills, storyboards, music videos of Kick Some Ass and  Because I Got High, a behind-the-scenes featurette, a commentary featuring Smith, Mewes and Mosier and much more.

Look Kids its Mark Hamill

At the time of completion, Kevin Smith announced that Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back would be the final film in the View Askewniverse.  Like many things that Smith has uttered carelessly (ahem, “fuck dvd”), he has eaten those words by making Clerks II.  Sadly, Smith should have stuck to his guns and gone out on top with JaSBSB.  But that’s for a later review.

If you love classy dialog like:

Yo baby, you ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat?

or songs with timeless lyrics such as:

I'm gonna finger-bang her tight little asshole / Finger-bang and tea-bag my balls / Where, where, in her mouth / Balls a-plenty in her mouth / Balls Balls Sweaty Balls

you’ll just love Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.

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Star Turtle

Harry Connick Jr.

The album is considered by some to be a concept album due to the four Star Turtle tracks scattered throughout the album.  On these tracks the story is told of an alien turtle landing in New Orleans on a mission to find musical salvation.  Harry escorts our terrapin friend in and out of various clubs, exposing him to the different musical sounds of the city.  These tracks are unique in that Harry plays every instrument and provides the voice to the Star Turtle.

The rest of the album contains an eclectic mix of funk, jazz, pop and well, Harry.  Connick Jr. has is own style and flair that goes into his music and this album is no exception.  In fact, after obtaining several other albums I found that this was the one of the biggest risks in his entire catalog.

After the initial Star Turtle track we're thrown right into the funk of it all with How Do Y'all Know, a catchy song that makes you want to dance.  The funkiness is followed up with the smooth pop sounds of Hear Me in the Harmony.  This is a song that's always spoken to my darker, lonely side...the side of me that feels the smallness of my own life in comparison to the rest of the world.

Harry Connick, Jr.-Hear Me In The Harmony

Reason to Believe picks up the pace of the album again but it's quickly halted by the very slow, almost tedious, Just Like Me.  I like an album that has it's ups and downs as far as the overall mood is concerned, it always keeps me on my toes.  The funk returns for Little Farley and even for Eyes of the Seeker, which is borderline rock with really heavy guitars.  Nobody Like You to Me blends pop jazz and more of that laid-back funk but as soon as you start getting into the groove you hit Boozehound.  Boozehound has a driving beat and is very unconventional for Harry but is a song that grew on me over time.

Heading towards the end of the album, a more traditional Connick, Jr. song, Never Young plays out beautifully with a groovy little piano part and some excellent vocals by Harry.  Mind on the Matter, a percussion-driven song, sung by bass player Tony Hall, sounds like a fun time in the studio.  At the end of the track you can hear the musicians carrying on with each other.  It's always a treat to hear little snippets of the behind the scenes action in music production.  The album ends with the melodic song City Beneath the Sea.  This was one of my first experiences with New Orleans culture and the many of the references were lost on me for a number of years (I didn't know what fais do do was or about Étouffée or why anyone would eat raw oysters).  It's a gorgeous song though and one of my favorites on the album.

If you're looking for a fun album with good music and a touch of New Orleans style I'd highly recommend Harry Connick, Jr.'s Star Turtle.

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Clerks - The Animated Series Uncensored

In late 1999 Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier started pitching the idea of a g-rated animated version of Clerks to various networks including the big three, Fox, HBO and a few others.  But it was ABC that took the bait.  Unfortunately they didn't provide the show very much support and only aired two episodes before canning the project.  Lucky for the rest of us, all six episodes that were completed were made available on everybody's favorite format, DVD.

The show is a little tough to get into.  While it's funny, it's certainly missing the edge that made Clerks the movie such a success.  Then again, most shows take a few episodes to get going.  If you take it for what it is (or could've been if given the opportunity) it's a great show.

Clerks the Animated Series

The plot is essentially that of the original movie.  But like any great show Dante and Randall have a nemesis.   The pilot episode [Leonardo Leonardo Returns and Dante Has an Important Decision to Make] introduces Leonardo Leonardo (voiced by Alec Baldwin), the billionaire who opens Quicker Stop across from the original Quick Stop.  Everybody's favorite dealers, Jay and Silent Bob also make their debut in all their animated glory.  Instead of weed, they deal in fireworks.  It's so weird what the censors would and wouldn't let them get away with throughout the run of the show.  They could mention bongs, but not dealing. Wevs.  Episode two [The Clipshow Wherein Dante and Randal are Locked in the Freezer and Remember Some of the Great Moments in Their Lives] is, as the title states, a clip show.  Some shows save the clip show for episode 100, but not Clerks!  I introduced Sister to the show with this episode, however she failed to see the humor in recounting the pilot episode in the second episode.  I thought it was brilliant.

Leonardo Leonardo and his Rotten Descreeto Burritos

As you can see most episodes are pretty much laid out in the title, so I'll list those and only delve into two more.

Episode 3: Leonardo Is Caught in the Grip of an Outbreak of Randal's Imagination and Patrick Swayze Either Does or Doesn't Work in the New Pet Store

Episode 4: A Dissertation on the American Justice System by People Who Have Never Been Inside a Courtroom, Let Alone Know Anything About the Law, but Have Seen Way Too Many Legal Thrillers

Episode 5: Dante and Randal and Jay and Silent Bob and a Bunch of New Characters and Lando, Take Part in a Whole Bunch of Movie Parodies Including But Not Exclusive To, The Bad News Bears, The Last Starfighter, Indiana Jones and the Temple Of Doom, Plus a High School Reunion

Episode 6: The Last Episode Ever

Bear is driving

My favorite episode of them all is Episode 4.  Dante is sued by Jay who slipped on soda (that Randall spilled) in the Quick Stop.  Judge Reinhold (played by Judge Reinhold) oversees the trial while Randall serves as Dante's lawyer. Completely irrelevant to the case, Randall ends up putting George Lucas on the stand demanding his $8 back after seeing the Phantom Menace.  After Spielberg, Joel Schumacher, Woody Allen, and Spike Lee take the stand and the jury is about to read the decision the show is abruptly interrupted and the viewers are informed that due to budget concerns the episode was completed by the Korean animation studio.  Watch and enjoy:

Clerks - The Trial

Jay and bob

The last episode finds the Clerks working an overnight shift because the fair has come to town.  All the action takes place outside and off camera while Jay and Silent Bob come in every few minutes telling Dante and Randall what they're missing.  The running joke throughout the episode is Morpheus calling Dante on the phone and begging to tell Neo about the Matrix.  In the end we discover who's behind the Matrix and our show is over forever.  :-(

Many additional celebrities did voices for the show including Charles Barkley, Gwyneth Paltrow, Gilbert Gottfried, James Woods, Julia Sweeney, Michael McKean, plus some View Askewniverse alums such as Bryan Johnson, Walt Flanagan and Lisa Spoonhauer.

The DVD contains a great commentary track for each episode and a couple of short featurettes.  There is a live action Jay and Silent Bob intro to each episode taking place at "their" phat palatial Hollywood estate.  These little intros (plus the commentaries) are the reason for the uncensored tag on the cover.

If you like Smith's previous work you may or may not enjoy this short lived show.  But I would recommend it as a must-see anyway.  So there.  $12 on Amazon right now, do it!

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The Heaven and Hell Tour featuring Machine Head, Megadeth and Dio Years Black Sabbath hit the Albany Times Union Center Monday night.  It took us a while to find our seats.  Apparently Row CC is the section of folding chairs on risers between the floor and the first tier; we were in the first section, stage left, so we could see everything perfectly.  They were great seats!  Sadly I have no cell phone and I didn’t want to risk having my camera confiscated (damn, that would’ve been a good excuse to get a new one finally!), so no photos.

Metalheads Prefer Maiden Shirts 2 to 1

Before getting into the bands, I’ll get some of my general observations out of the way.  Iron Maiden t-shirts outnumbered all other band t-shirts at least two to one (\m/) (why aren’t they coming near here???).  I saw a woman stroke her man’s mullet lovingly.  I haven’t seen a mullet get that kind of action since 1989.  At one point during Megadeth's set I saw this little nerdy guy scurrying across the floor as if he was running for his life.  A moment later a giant, bearded metalhead with fire in his eyes was running in the same direction, it took at least 5 people to hold him back. Also, that drunk guy was a few seats down from us and spent the entire night dancing wildly and attempting to flirt with the girls that were half his